Mar. 10th 2009
So today, in an ironic and dramatic role reversal, my dad totaled my car! Isn't it supposed to be the irresponsible young son who wrecks the vehicle? 
Fortunately dad is unhurt, but my car has officially passed on to that great freeway in the sky. In the great freeway cars can go as fast as they like, and they spend each day in enchanting conversation with the talking cars on the Chevron commercials... So yeah, RIP Baby! Sniff...
Not that my car was exactly street racing quality! She was a powder blue '91 Ford Tempo with a fading (and peeling) vinyl top. I never did understand why the top was vinyl, it wasn't like it was a convertible or anything!
It had mismatched side panels due to a previous owner's drug induced wreck, and a hideous right side mirror that must have been reattached while they were still high! They appeared to have dumped an entire gallon of glue over everything but the surface they were trying to cement.
I did all I could to improve her appearance with as many offensive (to democrats) bumper stickers that I could find, but she still had this aura of old lady car that was impossible to remove!
My baby also had those awful strangle seatbelts that automatically trap you with the shoulder strap, and then help you forget to buckle the hip belt to ensure maximum injury upon collision.
So now I am in the market for another car. I may be getting a VW Bug, also powder blue (WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!?!) because my parents had already been considering buying it from a friend of a relative, but I sincerely hope not.
I mean, at present I just really need a car, but I would love to drive a car that I didn't have to wear a paper bag to disguise my identity and turn up the local Rock station just to retain a shred of my manly dignity!
Oh well, maybe one day I will have a real car... Until then, I will not mourn the loss of my car too much, and POWDER BLUE GIRLY VW BUG HERE I COME!!!!!!
Fortunately dad is unhurt, but my car has officially passed on to that great freeway in the sky. In the great freeway cars can go as fast as they like, and they spend each day in enchanting conversation with the talking cars on the Chevron commercials... So yeah, RIP Baby! Sniff...
Not that my car was exactly street racing quality! She was a powder blue '91 Ford Tempo with a fading (and peeling) vinyl top. I never did understand why the top was vinyl, it wasn't like it was a convertible or anything!
It had mismatched side panels due to a previous owner's drug induced wreck, and a hideous right side mirror that must have been reattached while they were still high! They appeared to have dumped an entire gallon of glue over everything but the surface they were trying to cement.
I did all I could to improve her appearance with as many offensive (to democrats) bumper stickers that I could find, but she still had this aura of old lady car that was impossible to remove!
My baby also had those awful strangle seatbelts that automatically trap you with the shoulder strap, and then help you forget to buckle the hip belt to ensure maximum injury upon collision.
So now I am in the market for another car. I may be getting a VW Bug, also powder blue (WHY GOD WHY?!?!?!?!) because my parents had already been considering buying it from a friend of a relative, but I sincerely hope not.
I mean, at present I just really need a car, but I would love to drive a car that I didn't have to wear a paper bag to disguise my identity and turn up the local Rock station just to retain a shred of my manly dignity!
Oh well, maybe one day I will have a real car... Until then, I will not mourn the loss of my car too much, and POWDER BLUE GIRLY VW BUG HERE I COME!!!!!!
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